Drinks With The Girls

Blog Bedlam for Our Delicious Readers

Shopping – Mountain Biking Style September 18, 2008

Filed under: Biking,boyfriend,Cosmo,humor,Life — Cosmo @ 11:32 am
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My new hobbie is now… mountain biking. This is probably not a HUGE surprise since I have blogged about mountain biking a few times. In recap, It all started out with my boyfriend. He LOVES mountain biking & eventually it rubbed off. Well, I don’t love it yet… but I do like it.

With every new hobbie, there is time & money that needs to be spent. I’m lucky enough to mostly have a bike. Some great people have been letting me us their old one, on a borrow to own basis. But there are a few other things I need.

1) Helmet (Apparently My BF doesn’t want me to break my “cute little head”. His words, not mine!)
a. It must have a visor – per BF for keeping the sun out of my eyes
b. It must look good – Cosmo Requirement
2) Gloves (When you crash, you don’t want to scrap up your knuckles)
a. Full Finger ones are the best – Per BF
b. Must match other gear – Cosmo Requirement
c. Must have gel (That’s what she said) – To keep Cosmo’s Hands from looking like a construction workers hands.
3) Camelbak (Ya get VERY thirsty on a ride)
a. Capacity of 100 oz – per BF
b. Must match – Cosmo Requirement
c. Have a few pouches for Benadryl, power bars & MP3 Player
d. Not be too heavy – Cosmo Requirement

So there ya have it boys & girls, the mountain biking gear I will need to purchase soon! When I actually own a mountain bike, I will chat ALL about it. Hmm… what will be her (or his) name? Rummy named her bike Brad Pitt.. maybe I will do that.

I could name the bike Oliver Queen. Then I could say “I’m riding Oliver Queen” (Green Arrow from Smallville- See Below)

Below Novice rider – Cosmo

Oliver Queen... YUMMY

Oliver Queen... YUMMY

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Hookers and Hikers, Buttes and Bikers September 9, 2008

Filed under: Drinks with the girls,humor,Life,Rummy — Rummy @ 9:22 am
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Monument Valley

Monument Valley

I know you must be wondering what the strange title means.  Well it’s an intro to my latest vacation of course.  My boyfriend and I went on a 7-day epic journey covering 4 states and too many miles to count….even for an engineer. 

 

 

 

 

It all started in Las Vegas, which is where the hooker comes in.  I knew it was legal there but I was surprised at how much advertisement there was for it.  We past a guy in an orange shirt that said “Direct to your Door in 30 minutes”.  I decided it would be fun to take a picture with him since legally picking up a hook seemed so extreme due to my naïve upbringing.  Well I didn’t realize that I was wearing an orange shirt too and so the picture looks like I am one of his “employees”.  I better not let my mom see that picture!  We decided our $40 would be better spent on an all you can eat buffet so we went to the Bellagio hotel for their world famous buffet.  It was the best buffet I have ever had in both quantity and quality!  We stayed for TWO hours.  Six plates and eight desserts later we finally waddled out.  “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”?  Can someone please inform my hips of this!  At the time I decided we were “training” for day two of the journey, which involved a hike down Grand Canyon so the carbs were necessary to prep.  It sounded good at the time.

 

On day two we journeyed to the Grand Canyon and started our hike down.  We didn’t prep except for eating bunches in Vegas and we didn’t know if what we were doing was commonplace or not.  Being from Florida where the elevation is zero is sure seemed extreme.  At least gravity was on our side but it still took 4 ½ hours to get down.  Some of that was due to needing a picture every 10 feet.  It was beautiful and we wanted to document it all.  The best part was we didn’t finish the hike until after dark.  The last two miles were in complete darkness with just a little flashlight to help us not fall off the trail and into the Colorado River.  It worked and we made it to the ranch for the best dinner ever….or maybe I was just very hungry.  After dinner I went to the girls camp to sleep with a bunch of women I didn’t know.  I was a little nervous about this but my boyfriend informed me he did it all the time and it was easy.  He didn’t earn any girlfriend points with that little comment.  But I met the girls in the morning and they were awesome and we became instant friends.

 

Unfortunately what goes down must come up and on day three we journeyed up the canyon.  As the signs all stated getting to the bottom was optional but getting up was mandatory so we were on our own.  We were laughing in the morning how we made it through the heat and decent and the dark and the only thing missing was torrential rain.  It was a joke at the time since it was totally sunny but by lunchtime it started to downpour.  We just kept on hiking since there really wasn’t much else to do and as it turned out it probably helped us since it would have been too hot without the rain.  We ran into one of those odd people we meet on every trip.  You know the ones who like to act like they know it all and like to share their opinion even if you obviously aren’t interested.  When we mentioned we were from Florida he said “well congratulations, most of MY people from Florida can’t make it” in a very derogatory tone.  So I decided to mess with his head and said “really.  This was easy.  We have this ride at Disney World….except its air-conditioned”.  That seemed to put him in his place or at least confuse him enough so we could get away.  It really wasn’t too bad of a journey.  We just went slow and steady and a mere 8 ½ hours later we were up!  We had some soreness and blisters but we didn’t fall in the canyon so that makes it a total success in my mind.

 

The Buttes come into play on Day 4 when we went to monument valley Utah.  There are huge rock formations called buttes and mesas just jutting out of the ground.  It was spectacular to view.  I found a rock that had the best echo I’ve ever heard.  I could almost recite the preamble to the US Constitution and hear it all repeated back to me.  We took some pictures, did some yoga poses and had a small snack while we soaked it all in.  I only wish I could have done a full yoga class in that location. 

 

Day 5 brings us to the biker part of my title since we mountain biked down a mountain at a ski/snowboard resort.  I’ve done mountain biking before but usually you have to spend a lot of time biking up just to enjoy a quick downhill.  Most bikers like to say “you have to earn it” when talking about the downhill but I figure if I pay for the lift ticket then “I earned it”!  We used the ski lift to go up the mountain which felt odd without a board on my feet and then the bikes were hooked to the back of the next chairs.   So we spent all day chair lifting up and biking down.  All the fun without all the work and I am totally ok with that! 

 

These were just a few of the many highlights from our epic journey to the West.  I love vacations since they are a time of adventure and a time of living in the moment and they create lifelong memories.  I hope you enjoyed my vacation as much as I did and that you get a chance to travel soon and make many wonderful memories to last a lifetime!

 

Rummy “It’s a dry heat” Runner

 

I have your Tool September 3, 2008

Filed under: Cosmo,humor,Life,Work — Cosmo @ 1:09 pm
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It’s like I’m 15 years old again.

I just received an instant message from a male coworker, that we refer to as “Capt Kirk” saying:

“I have your tool” – Capt Kirk sends over Instant Messenger

“You do?” – Immature Cosmo sends back (Trying to hold back all the dirty innuendos that could be said)

“Yeah, let me know when you can come & get it” – Capt Kirk Responds

“Do you mean Cum?” – Immature Cosmo Quickly types & then erases immediatly from the Instant message screen, so she doesn’t get fired.

“Your painting tool” – Capt Kirk quickly clarifies. (Apparently he understands my dirty immature mind”

“Oh… Sure thing” – Disappointed & immature Cosmo says.

Immature Cosmo (age 30, going on 15)

 

“Metro Muscle” August 29, 2008

Filed under: Cosmo,fitness,funny,health,humor,Laughter,Life,perv — Cosmo @ 1:39 pm
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FUCK! I am 30 minutes late for an event that I am hosting and now I’m lost! Why does downtown have to have sooo many one way streets? I think it is a conspiracy with the gas companies. So many people get lost & drive around town like an adult merry-go-round ride with out the merry.
Passing by my nemesis street for the 3rd time, I see a business called metro muscle. Even frustrated as I am, my brain still works over time with that bit of comedy. Immediately, I picture a peen in a “club shirt”. Of course, I have to drive by…again. I’m already 30 minutes late, what are a few more minutes?
Driving by again, I notice the whole logo “Metro Muscle the Lightening Bolt of Fitness 24/7” HILLARIOUS!
Now, every time I drive by one of these gyms, I can’t but picture a peen in club shirt working out. Of course, I end up squirting whatever beverage I’m drinking at the time, right though my nose.

BTW, I’ve heard these are good gyms, 24/7 access for these Metro muscles (Snicker…), juice bar (What kind of Juice do peen need?), and variety of classes (endurance and foreplay classes are the most popular)
Perv Cosmo.

Peen Shirt

Peen Shirt

 

God Mobile Or Torcher Device? August 27, 2008

Filed under: Cosmo,crazy,funny,humor,Laughter,Life — Cosmo @ 3:27 pm
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Apparently, some state fairs now have God Mobiles. On one of Dawn & Drew’s adventures (a Fav podcast of mine) they uncovered one of the elusive heavenly vehicles. (http://mevio.com/video/?persona_id=739&movie_id=ee914d06492663d0fa1d6ecddb8fc0f0)
How it works:
A immaculately groomed carnie (carnival worker), has the psychic insite to guess if someone is going to heaven based on the suckers customers answers to two questions. Dawn and Drew fail to mention what the two questions are, but I can guess.
Question Number 1) Are you the Devil in disguise.
If the answer was yes…I think the heavenly carnie operator would be able to say “you are going Down-Town” with some authority.
Question Number 2) Do you cut people off in Traffic

(Oh that can’t be a question, or “Down Town” would be grossly over populated & would include Me. )
Question Number 2) Do you like Ugly Babies?
If you say yes, which almost everyone would, the the person in question has a one way ticket to “Down Town” <envision the Music of Down town playing in the background>. If the person answered yes…you KNOW they are lying, thus the Hell destination.
If they say yes.. well the person is going straight to hell regardless because they are too mean to arrive at another destination.

Ok…seriously. The God Mobile operator would be the BEST job. You could ask all kinds of questions & tell everyone they are destined for the pearly gates. Everyone would be happy & the God Mobile would have Many MANY book ideas!
What would your questions be?
Putting the Sassy in Cosmo!

 

Is Fay There? August 20, 2008

Filed under: humor,Life,Rummy — Rummy @ 11:23 am
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So I called up my parents and asked “is Fay there”.  My dad thought I had dialed the wrong number until I explained it’s my little way of checking on them and making sure they were ok with Tropical Storm Fay approaching.  The media must have been bored since they made a really big deal out of this tropical storm.  Any given summer afternoon in Central Florida can produce as much rain and wind as the menacing TS Fay.  But I did what a good prepared Floridian should do and I “hunkered down” for the storm.  My boyfriend and I grilled out and watched movies.  It was a nice chill evening and I didn’t feel like I was missing out since it was too rainy to do much else.   Toward the end of the night when I got antsy I went out in the storm and did my best weather woman impersonation.  You know how they stand out in the storm and show how windy and rainy it is for all to see.  Well that is what I did and it was fun.  It would have been even more fun if people were actually watching me from their hunkered down locations.  I think I picked the wrong career! 

 

The night did bring back fond memories of the hurricanes of 2004 when Central Florida was hit by 3 hurricanes in a matter of a few short months.  The worst one was Charlie, which made driving a car like navigating a maze since almost all streets were blocked by downed trees.  Even in that hurricane I was able to drive to a Publix in a new neighborhood that didn’t have any trees and had underground power lines.  It was like nothing had happened there and I was living in a totally devastated war zone just one mile away. 

 

I hope everyone was safe and had a good TS day even if we didn’t get the day off from work.  Feel free to share your hurricane and tropical storm stories!

 

Rummy “All this wind is messing up my hair” Runner

 

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now August 11, 2008

Filed under: humor,Life,Rummy — Rummy @ 7:30 pm
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I recently decided to end my lease at my upscale downtown high-rise apartment.  Ok, so it’s really just a dumpy little efficiency but I’ve lived here for 3 ½ years now and I consider it home.  I thought this place was the coolest when I first moved in.  It was my first time living on my own.  I know that’s probably odd since I was 37 years old at the time but it was exciting and my big adventure.  So now my apartment is a total mess while I decide what I absolutely can’t do without and what I would rather give away than have to carry down 3 flights of stairs and possibly up some stairs to wherever I move.  It’s funny that I’m usually very clean but I really don’t care that my apartment is a total mess right now since I look at it as a transition phase and I know it’s only temporary.  When I was deciding if I should stay or go there was no clear winner.  It wasn’t like I found a beautiful place for half the price.  That Sheryl Crow song just came to mind and I decided “a change would do me good”.   The sad part is I don’t even know where I’m going yet and its only 3 weeks away!  And instead of packing and looking I decided it was more important to blog tonight. 

 

I know I will miss a lot of things about this place like the “take it table” downstairs.  If you have something you don’t want anymore you can just leave it on the table for someone else.  I’ve gotten some really cool stuff from it.  Plus there was that time my friends walked me home after a night of drinking and my girl friend jumped on the table and her boyfriend “took” her.  Don’t worry it was only “G” rated but it was funny and one of many good memories.  Then there was the “happy birthday” time where we just decided to sing happy birthday to everyone who came downstairs.  Somehow that made everyone smile.  I also have to mention the time Cosmo, Tini and friends came over to party.  I think that was a record for the amount of people that could fit in the apartment and boy do we have some fun pictures from that night!  

 

I’m sure some things will be better at a new place like hopefully I won’t have to put up with kids partying on my fire escape at 3 am on a school night but I’m sure there will be some things worse in the new place.  The lesson I’ve learned lately is that everything seems to be tradeoffs.  Some things get better and others stay the same or get worse.  It’s all shades of grey.  So mostly I just decided to take a chance and not get too set in a rut.  As long as I am renting I want to move every year just so I can try different things and see what I like.  So I will be throwing out as much junk as I can and living like a minimalist so I can easily pick up and move again.  This is not exactly where I thought I would be at 40 years old but it’s not all bad.  I’m not worrying, I’m just taking it one day at a time.  I have to go now so I can get packing and plan my big moving out party!!!!

 

Rummy “Moving on Up” Runner